Body Sense

Autumn | 2014

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few minutes, then our therapists returned and started. It doesn't take me long to give in to a massage session, but I was worried about Brad. He was on this trip because of me and signed up for this experience because of me. After just a few minutes, I thought I'd quietly whisper, "How's it going?" when I heard him begin to breathe deeply, as he relaxed. Then, he began to snore. Ah, perfect. Now I could let go, too. At that point, the session became a blended experience where we both honored ourselves, but also shared space. It was comforting in this faraway environment to know that Brad was right there, enjoying the session. The journey to Bali was long and our bodies really welcomed the stones. Tips for trying couples' massage: 1. Don't force the issue. Make sure you only try couples' massage with someone who's open to it, and not uncomfortable in their own skin. (And definitely don't spring it on them as a surprise gift!) Otherwise, your experience may be diluted by their fears and you'll both waste your time—and the therapists' time. 2. Make sure your partner knows all the details. Share all the specifics of the modality and the process ahead of time. Knowledge is power, particularly if someone has never tried massage before. Talk about disrobing, proper draping, and that it's fine to communicate with the therapist about pressure preferences. 3. Give your partner some control over the situation. This goes a long way to alleviating nervousness. Don't be heavy-handed in making all the decisions about modalities, session length, or other choices available for your session. 4. Accept that each of you will have your own experience. Aside from an initial quiet comment or two, don't talk too much during the session. Let yourselves both mentally escape—separately, though you're together. And tell your partner ahead of time that less talk (or no talk) is the best way to relax during a session. 5. Honor your partner's experience. Don't be judgmental before, during, or after the session. If you're a connoisseur of massage therapy and your session didn't quite measure up, but your partner thought it was amazing, don't dent the experience by being negative. 6. Be open to trying new modalities yourself. Like vacationing together in a place where neither person has been, you can experience the healing benefits of massage therapy in a new way, together. That night at dinner we compared notes. Brad told me he was more comfortable with the experience because I was in the room and said that aspect made the session even more special. His therapist was much more experienced than mine. Her touch was much more aggressive and his athletic body really liked that and needed that. My therapist's touch was somewhat tentative, although her communication with me was solid. In all, we agreed we'd made the right decision to devote the afternoon to massage therapy. Before this lucky miscommunication, I would have never booked a couples' massage. Now I'm open to it. In fact, I have it on my gift list for the next time we have a free afternoon. B S Leslie A. Young is the editor-in-chief of Massage & Bodywork magazine. www.massagetherapy.com—your resource for all things bodywork 11

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